For years now I’ve prayed that God would show me what I’m supposed to do with my life. What I should be when I grow up. I was hoping for… No. Wrong word. I was expecting Him to show me in a big and flashy way, no mistake about it, a loud booming and audible voice, with fireworks, or a big neon sign that said this is it or this way to your dream, to your calling, to your destiny! I wanted to be able to say “I just had an apostrophe! Lighting just struck my brain” (quote from the character Mr. Smee in the movie Hook)! I mean, it happens to other people. I’ve read about it and heard them telling their stories all the time on blogs, articles, interviews, and when we were in Amway, on how it happened to them. (We were in Amway when we first got married. We weren’t very good at it!). Those people “knew” who they were and what they were meant to do (so they said)! I mean, come on God. When is it my turn? We even had a pastor who did a whole series on how to find out Gods will for your life. I must have listened to those CD’s dozens of times. And yet nothing came to me like I was hoping. I wanted my answer the easy way. God might do that lighting-strike-clarity-stuff for some, but not for most and certainly not for me. It’s easier for me to know God’s will for my wife than it is to know His will for my life! I once heard it said that God traffics in the ordinary. In the everyday workings of our life.
So if that’s the case, how would He show me what I wanted to know? Maybe He already has I just have to look for it. He gave me talents, gifts, and abilities. I used to think I didn’t have any of those things. I really didn’t know what they were. And to be transparent, I’m still realizing what they are. They weren’t so evident from my perspective. My fear of failing and not being in God’s will was crippling. I wasted years of my life afraid of being wrong. So I waited for God to show me. I literally sat around waiting and ignoring the gifts, talents, and abilities that I already had. I was like a frightened turtle!
And while I haven’t quite figured out what my true “calling” is YET, I’m SO much closer now since I’ve been putting forth some effort and expanding my horizons by trying the things that interest me. I started a blog for goodness sakes. I have faith that I’m slowly learning who I am and what potential lies inside me! I will not let fear control my life.
Jon Acuff says that it’s not so much discovering your dream but recovering it. Going back to the things you used to love before fear crept in. We’ve all been called to do something great. The Bible says to fear not! What is fear holding you back from recovering?
For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you. (Isaiah 41:13 NIV)