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life dream Tuvok Star Trek Voyager

Photo from www.startrek.com

Isn’t life interesting? I’ve learned that my life is not a dream. I don’t know about you, but I remember when I was 19 years old wishing, praying, and hoping to find a girlfriend, get married, and start a family. I would watch TV shows and movies where the man had a family and through some bizarre chain of events, he saw what it was like to not have a family or something threatened to break the family apart. By the end of the movie, he was able to fix whatever was going on or the bizarre chain of events suddenly ends and he is right back to where his crazy journey began, only this time he is a little wiser and appreciates what he has with the family that he was blessed with. This might seem weird to you, but I believe that my heart was longing to have what that husband and father always took for granted.

I remember putting myself in the place of the characters and I was the one at the end of the movie who was trying to win back that women or earn the trust of his children and then finally succeeding and living happily ever after. I would literally cry at times because I could feel the emotions of the character. I know, weird.

Fast forward 18 years, one wife, and three children later. I have what I always wanted. Although most of the time, I don’t realize how blessed I am. I’m like that character on those movies who lost his perspective on his life and forgot what is important to him. He takes for granted what he has. He treats his wife rudely and without love. He treats his kids like they’re a nuisance and feels like they’re interrupting his precious quiet time when THEY should be sleeping. He yells and doesn’t play with them when they ask him to because he would rather play a game on his iPad or type out his next blog post which, ironically, is all about his family. But wait… this isn’t a character on the big screen. No-No, it’s someone a lot closer to reality and for whom I know very well. It’s ME. You probably saw that one coming, huh!

How blind I am. Deep down, if I’m honest with myself, I have to admit that compared to those movies, my life is not how I envisioned and dreamed it would be like. In reality, there is no way I could have predicted what my life would be like now. I compared my life to a Disney fairy tale. It’s not fair to my wife or our children for me to hold onto those old fantasies. No one can live up to a make believe-fake-artificial life. No, it’s not fair to hold my family hostage to an unrealistic set of criteria. My expectations of that picture perfect family that lived happily ever after is a myth. I live in the real world. I must remember the wise words of a logical Vulcan named Tuvok from Star Trek: Voyager. He said:

“When it comes to matters of the human heart… It’s important to look beyond logic.” (Referring to love and/or your spouse)

—and—

“Offspring can be disturbingly illogical. Yet profoundly fulfilling. You should expect paradox.” (referring to children)

What an awesome perspective. My logic says that since I love my family, my life should be perfect since that’s how it is portrayed on TV. But my heart knows it can’t be perfect. Perfection is an illusion.

If I continue to compare my life to my childhood fantasies, I will always see it in a way that is unrealistic and thus I will feel as if my expectations have not been met. Instead, I should reflect on how blessed I am and how much I love the life that I have with my wife and children. I need to find something that I am thankful for everyday and I need to say it out loud so that I never forget or lose sight. We can all have that happily ever after ending, but we just need to recognize that it looks different from we might have dreamed. I suspect it will look different to different people. All that matters is that you define what it looks like for you.

How do I protect myself from becoming complacent and bitter towards my life? I’m trying to figure that out every day. Maybe I’ll watch more movies. Then again, maybe not!

What did you envision your life would look like? Does it?

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Death is Inevitable! Be prepared

Life Insurance picture

You’re going to die! Someday… We all will! But how many of us are prepared for that inevitable fate? I know we weren’t for the longest time. How can you be prepared you may ask? Well, there are a lot of ways and one of those ways is to make sure your family is taken care of. [click to continue…]

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HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Happy Thanksgiving Pretty Clouds and Sky Picture

Today, as all of you know, is Thanksgiving. Happy Thanksgiving! No doubt you have plans to spend some time with friends and/or family, to enjoy a great magnificent feast and eat more food than you normally eat in a week. I know that’s what we are going to be doing at least. And although we can’t be with our family this Thanksgiving, [click to continue…]

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Please Take A Survey

Today, we’re going to do something a little different. Instead of you hearing from me; I want to hear from you. Your opinion means a lot to me. After all, the reason I have a blog is so that I might be able help you in some way with my thoughts, opinions, experience, and insight.

Doing a blog is a lot more difficult that I thought it would be. The technical stuff is only half the challenge. The other is knowing what to write and what things I should offer on the site.

So, I would like to respectfully ask you all to click on the link below and take a 6 question survey about this website, “Standing For More”. It will be quick and painless, I promise. Your feedback would be greatly appreciated. My goal is to try and improve the site and make it a better experience for everyone.

* * And please feel free to share my web address with everyone you know * *

 Please look around this website (if you haven’t already) and then take the survey! Thank you in advance for your help! I look forward to hearing from you.

* * * TAKE SURVEY NOW * * * 

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The Cell Phone Deal Rip Off

iPhone 5 picture

So my wife and I are not immune to the coolness of this world, the technologies, the newest thingamabobs! We like stuff like the rest of you. We were considering upgrading our cell phones to the iPhone 5 a few months ago. As Clarissa was researching the best deal to trade up, she called our cell phone carrier. She learned that they have a program that allows you to [click to continue…]

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A Special Veterans Day Post

A Special Veterans Day post - Flag and sunset

November 11, 2013 – This is a special day. It’s the day where we remember all the veterans who have served and who are currently serving our country with the daunting task of protecting our freedom. Despite whatever is going on right now, we are still living in the best country in the history of the world. We have so many opportunities around us. We have the right to life [click to continue…]

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Are You Being Generous in your Life?

Giving and being generous are essential to a good life. It’s biblical. Are you being generous in your life? I hope so! I know you must be thinking “Oh no, he’s doing another financial post”. But I’m not. This post will be in the category of Faith, because how we give and how generous we are can be a reflection of our faith. [click to continue…]

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What are God’s Boundaries for our Life?

Boundarie_Picture

What am I allowed to do but not be sinning and still be in God’s will? We think to ourselves, is this ok or that ok? What are God’s boundaries for our life? Where’s the line? We’re asking the wrong question. If we try to get as close to that imaginary line as we can without going over it, the problem is, our backs are toward God. [click to continue…]

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Why Co-Signing Is Dumb

Well, so far we’ve covered why Credit Cards and Debt are dumb. This time we’re going to discuss why co-signing is dumb. We know that the borrower is slave to the lender. When you borrow something you are enslaved to whom or whatever you borrowed from. So how many of you have co-signed for someone before? [click to continue…]

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Why Debt is Dumb

Why Debt is Dumb

Last time we learned why credit cards are dumb. Today I want to go further and talk about why debt is dumb. We live in a society that loves debt. We worship at the alter of the great FICO. Debt has been so well advertised and marketed to us that we think we either need to have it to live or at the very least, that it’s a tool. The first is absolutely not true. [click to continue…]

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